Tiny Ramones
by mjforever
Summary: This is basically a Ramones version of the cartoon "Tiny Toons". They're all babies, and Monte Melnick and his assistant Arturo Vega are both babysitters for them.


**I** **thought that this would be funny to write, and I enjoyed doing it, so I hope you do too! :)**

"Johnny, don't pull Joey's hair!" I grabbed him away from the other infant and set him down on the other side of the room. "Now John, that's not nice. It's not nice to do that to people. Sit in the corner and think about what you've done."

He looked up at me with an angry pouting face and began playing with a toy truck. I didn't know what I was going to do about those two. They were always fighting! I walked over to see Joey holding his head and crying. I picked him up and held him and rocked him in my arms for a couple of minutes.

"Now, now. It's alright come on, don't cry." Joey stopped crying and started tapping my forehead. I realized his pacifier was still in my pocket, so I took it out and gave it to him. "Here you go." As soon as it was in his mouth, he calmed down a little. I put him down next to Marky and they both played with each other's blocks.

Being a babysitter of these four was a hard job. They all had different personalities, and whatever I did with one of them, I had to do with the rest of them. It was exhausting, but I loved these little guys. They made me happy. Suddenly I saw Dee Dee open up a jar of glue and start eating it. "DEE DEE NO!" I took it away from him and brought him to the bathroom to get cleaned up. "Dee Dee, you're not supposed to eat glue. It's not good for you."

I cleaned up all of the glue from his bib and his mouth, hoping he wouldn't get brain damage. Then I brought him back to the others. I was just getting ready to sit down and rest when I smelled something foul. Someone's diaper needed to be changed. So I got up once again. Man, at least I was getting paid for this...

"Alright, Joey. Did you make a stinky in your diaper?" I checked, but there was nothing there. Then I moved on to Dee Dee. Nothing in his diaper either. I picked Johnny up and turned him over to look inside. He struggled and fussed with me, but I had enough time to see that it wasn't him either. Which meant it was Marky.

"Alright Mark. Lemme change you."

Marky saw me coming and started crawling away. Babies could be so cute sometimes. I picked him up and he whined. "Come on, rascal. Let me change your diaper." I set him down on top of a small table and changed him as fast as I could. I wished my assistant Arturo was here to do this. I hated changing these boys when they pooped. It was disgusting!

Before I threw up, I tossed the dirty diaper in the trash can next to me and put a fresh new diaper on Marky. After I was done, he didn't complain anymore. After Marky was content with his rattle, I looked over to see Joey and Johnny were at it again. Those two I swear...for some reason they just didn't seem to like each other. Joey had Johnny's face pressed to the carpet and Johnny was hitting Joey in the leg.

"Come on you two, stop being so rough with each other! Break it up!"

I heard the front door open and Arturo walked through. "Sorry I'm late, Monte. I had to run some errands before I got here."

"Well, fuck it's about time!" It was hard trying to get Johnny away from Joey. "Help me with these two."

Arturo grabbed Joey and I grabbed Johnny. "They were fighting again, huh?"

"Yup." I sighed and cleaned the spit-up Johnny made on my shoulder. "It's snack time anyways." I carried Johnny with me and gave him his sippy cup (he was older than the rest of them by about a year and a half), and Arturo helped me give the others their bottles. And for once since the entire day, everything was quiet.

Dee Dee and Marky seemed to always fall asleep after they drank their milk, but the other two were still up. Johnny crawled out of my lap and made his way towards Joey. I thought they were about to fight again when Johnny patted the top of Joey's head and said his name.

"Johnny, did you just say his name? I'm so proud of you! Arturo did you hear that?"

"Yes, I heard." Arturo smiled. "That's his first word. Man I cant wait to tell them this when they get older."

And for the rest of the day, the two played with each other happily. Marky and Dee Dee watched "Teletubbies", and Arturo and I relaxed and had a beer together.

"We're good babysitters, I think," Arturo said.

"Yup. Another job well done." We clanked bottles and watched the boys until their parents picked them up later on in the day.

THE END


End file.
